God

In a small town in Southern India,

a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple.

The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed.  However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop’s demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

‘I don’t know how I’m going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn’t.’

haha

A man walked into the ladies department at Macy’s, looks sheepishly at the woman behind the counter and says, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife”

What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquires the man.

“There is more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.

“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”

Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”

The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills !!!

Taxes

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
> Ans. : Business.
> Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
>
>
> Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
> Ans. : Selling the Goods.
> Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!
>
> Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
> Ans. : From other State/Abroad
> Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI
>
>
> Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
> Ans. : Profit.
> Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
>
> Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
> Ans : By way of dividend
> Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX
>
>
> Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
> Ans. : Factory…
> Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
>
> Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
>
>
> Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
>
> Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
> Ans. : Yes — Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
> Ans : No — Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
>
>
> Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from
> Bank?
> Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
> Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
>
> Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch
> & Dinner?
> Ans. : Hotel
>
> Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
>
> Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
>
> Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
>
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
>
> Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
> Ans… : Gift on birthday.
> Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
>
> Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
>
>
> Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where
> are you going?
> Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
> Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
>
> Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
>
>
> Question 18 : How you Travel?
> Ans. : Bus
> Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!
>
> Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL &
> SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX !!!
>
>
> Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!
>
> 21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
> Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax
> !!!